"We've been attacked," he says, "by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture."

If you wish to become a true man (or, I suppose, a woman), there are two things you simply must read during your young adulthood. One is the book "Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do" by Peter McWilliams. The other is the following:

Greetings From Idiot America
Creationism. Intelligent Design. Faith-based this. Trust-your-gut that. There's never been a better time to espouse, profit from, and believe in utter, unadulterated bullshit. And the bullshit is rising so high, it's getting dangerous.
by Charles P. Pierce, as originally published in Esquire Magazine, 11/1/05

The essay itself is a somewhat daunting read. However, the rewards are many and the risks few. Take the time. Become a man: CLICK HERE

Read this before you die or, at the very least, vote.

The Importance of the Sharpie

When people talk about the most important invention in the history of the universe, you'll undoubtedly get a lot of 'the internet', or 'fire', or 'the wheel', or some equally nonsensicle retort. I mostly think of the Sharpie.

Theres not much you can't do with a Sharpie. Think about it.

Mustaches.

There's not many things in this world that instantly let one know that you're serious.

Mustaches are one of those things.

I'm not really quite sure what it is. It seems like common consensus among America's youth is that mustaches should be reserved for either 40-year-olds or child molesters. I am neither. Nor am I Italian (which, of course, would get me some leeway in the mustache department).

This consensus is wrong.

Mustaches are one of the few things that manages to be both noble and badass. So why are they so scorned? A month or so ago, I decided to show convention what I'm made of and grow a mustache. I liked it. Girls didn't. Tony, my roommate, was also not fond of the 'stache. So much so that he, very forcibly, suggested I shave. Repeatedly. Ultimately, I gave in.

And so I'm left with one hope. Recently, hipster kids have found that things considered socially kitsch and in bad taste (like Motley Crue t-shirts, leisure suits, cigarettes, and cowboy boots) are a happy shade of ironic and, therefore, cool. Maybe the mustache can enter into the echelon of the ironically hip.

Or maybe I'm just tired. Goodnight.

Get Excited.

I'm going to be posting blogs here... so you'd best get used to it.